Mail Order Petrol!!!

[Jimbo]

http://www.petroldirect.com/

Check out the prices, and the incredible range of diesel products!

[enigma]

Is this for real???

'Ordering from us is safe and easy! Just enter the desired quantity of the fuel you need, and we'll package it up and send it to you in the post, first class, delivered straight through your letterbox. No hassle. No worries.'

Not sure I would want 100 gallons of fuel delivered through my letterbox!!

[I-S]

Yes, you really can order 100 litres of Vin Diesel...

[DUNLY]

hmmmmm tempting, anyone going to go for it?

[DUNLY]

haha, sit that behind yor house. booooooom :evil2:

lol

[andy43]

I'm surprised noone else has been using them - it really is a good deal, but you need to be in all day on the day the courier delivers - and no, they don't pour it thru your letterbox :smug:




















...it comes sealed in waterproofed 1-litre envelopes :evil2: :evil2: :thumbsup:

[kornstar]

plutonium?? antimatter??? lol

[Wodjno]

Petrol Direct Home > About Us

About Petrol Direct
As far as we know the direct supply of highly volatile fuels through the post is an as-yet untapped market. Indeed, you can get just about anything else mail order these days so we thought that it was high time we started to leverage the synergies of the worldwide energy macroeconomy to produce a paradigm shift of groundbreaking proportions.

At Petrol Direct we understand that you are interesting in finding out as much as you can about our history and background model, primary because you've bothered to click on the link to this page and have so far made it down to the second paragraph without trying to find something more interesting to do.

Just in case you are an American, or possibly drive a car made by Suzuki, we wil spell the purpose of Petrol Direct out to you in simple terms. This is a spoof. A parody. We do not sell petrol or any other fuels, and certainly not plutonium or antimatter. Sorry. This site is strictly for laughs only.

However, we do have some useful tips on how you can actually save on fuel bills:

Drive more slowly. Fuel consumption in most cars at 60-70 mph (i.e. the posted speed limit) is much more effecient than at 80 mph or over.
If you drive a huge four wheel drive (e.g. Discovery, Shogun, BMW X5) then you are a sinner against the environment and other road users. Buy something less stupid. Other people will respect you more and you never know, you might get your reward in heaven.
Buy a Smart car. Better still, buy a Smart Roadster. That's fast and economical.
Buy a diesel if you're prepared to live with the fact that they still puff smoke out of the back from time-to-time even if the person in the showroom assured you that they were all squeaky clean now.
Move to the USA where fuel prices are about one quarter of those in the UK. But if you want to move to Europe, be aware that Holland, Belgium, Norway, Denmark, Sweden and Italy all price petrol at around the same or more than the UK. Holland is much more expensive!
Get rid of your car and walk.
How can you help us? If you're a petrol-head and you like to hang around messaging boards with other petrol-heads, why not wind up your online friends with helpful posts like:

I can't believe how cheap they are - I ordered thirty litres of super unleaded and it was there, next day, left on my doorstep in 2 litre plastic bottles.
They've certainly cornered the market in high-perfomance fuels. They even sell petrol with NOx already in it which saves on the costs of an expensive conversion.
If you don't mind driving slowly, the Ultra Low Cost Value Unleaded is amazingly cheap.
At last a company that understands the importance of real lead in petrol.. and lots of it!
They're not just a pile-it-high and sell-it-cheap merchant, it seems that they are working with partners to develop a lot of environmentally friendly fuels, plus some really advanced stuff for the future.
I think it's shocking - sending petrol is the post is incredibly dangerous!
FAQs about our fuel:

Vin Diesel is a very fine actor and not our trademark at all.
Lead is a really horrible thing to put in petrol as it is a persistant pollutant that causes long-term damage to people and the environment. Incidentally, leaded petrol was developed by Thomas Midgley who also invented CFCs. Oops.
It takes about 100 kilos of rose petals to make 1 gram of rose oil. As a result, "Perfuel" isn't really going to be practical. Rendering down seagulls for "Petrel" might be seen as a public service though.
Plutonium is nasty stuff, but some people actually have plutonium powered heart pacemakers.
If you want to tell us how wonderful we are, you can email petrol@petroldirect.com

[Jimbo]

Oh Wodj! .....I was waiting to see how many fell for it.

Vin Diesel is inspired, but the perfume petrol is my favourite! £300 for 15 ml /lol

[Wodjno]

Oh Wodj! .....I was waiting to see how many fell for it.

Vin Diesel is inspired, but the perfume petrol is my favourite! £300 for 15 ml /lol

Sorry !! Just woke up, ain't got much sense of humour yet.. :embarasse Or sense of anything really.. /pan

Can you get "Cool Blue" :inquisiti

[DUNLY]

"Leaded Petrol

We sell the genuine article at Petrol Direct - real leaded petrol instead of LRP. A little bit of lead never hurt anyone."

lol.

[Nick Mann]

But when you buy anything it says that there is a problem with the ordering system? :(

107.9 at the services it is, then!

[I-S]

I filled up this morning at 92.9. Only 26 litres though. First time I've paid over 90p.

Driving slower than miss daisy is paying off though. Rather than my usual 26ish mpg over the hills and through the traffic, I'm up to 33.5mpg.

[Wouter]

There is one upside to driving a Mazda like mine! Low fuel bills!! :evil2: :chugchug:

[d3x]

There is one upside to driving a Mazda like mine! Low fuel bills!! :evil2: :chugchug:

Cos you drive it at night so no one sees you? /yes

[WildCards]

Ultra Low Cost Value Unleaded (50 RON)
Especially popular with Rover Metro and Nissan Micra drivers, our 50 RON ULCVU fuel is made from refinery leftovers. This is a very inexpensive fuel indeed as it is actually classified as industrial waste rather than fuel.

[Bal]

my missus was getting properly p1ssed at me over the weekend cos i was driving like a grandad. was helping the fuel consumption though. maybe it's the end of the day for speedy driving ...

[bernmc]

Just ordered some plutonium to mess about with :D

[Funkstar]

The healing power of crystals has been known for some time - new research shows that they can be used as a source of automotive power too.

Working with Europe's leading metaphysicists, we are in the process of creating the right mix of crystals in order to not only power your car indefinitely, but also to spread karmic joy throughout your local community.


Now dont we all need some karmic joy in our communities. :rolleyes4

[Paul Beazer]

Just ordered some plutonium to mess about with :D

"Reports are coming in about a major explosion in the east midlands......."
Good sunset tonight, eh bern?! /pan

[bernmc]

"Reports are coming in about a major explosion in the east midlands......."
Good sunset tonight, eh bern?! /pan
I'm in Warwickshire dammit. You'll be next on my list if you're not careful :leer:. Anyway, that explosion had nothing to do with me. I was milking the cat at the time.

PS: This nuclear reactor stuff is harder than it looks.

[psbarham]

I'm in Warwickshire dammit. You'll be next on my list if you're not careful :leer:. Anyway, that explosion had nothing to do with me. I was milking the cat at the time.

PS: This nuclear reactor stuff is harder than it looks.
bl00dy doctors , think they know every thing , you need an old BBQ 1/2 dozen breeze blocks a box full of pencils (they have lead in them ) and a sheet of asbestos down the front of your pants (you can't be to careful you know)

[bernmc]

and a sheet of asbestos down the front of your pants (you can't be to careful you know)
Rats. Knew I'd forgotten something :rolleyes4. Now I'll have to buy some batteries as well!

[psbarham]

Rats. Knew I'd forgotten something :rolleyes4. Now I'll have to buy some batteries as well!
see ! look what happens when you rush into stuff /pan when will you learn if your not careful one of these days you'll find yourself married and then what ???? don't come running to us you should have listened ( parent mode off) p.s if you get the reactor going next doors cat ( yes the one that sits on the freshly polished paint work) makes a very good test subject , allegedly /Hmmm

[Kieran]

PS: This nuclear reactor stuff is harder than it looks.

Yeah, get it wrong and your hair turns red! :oops: /dunce :uhoh2: :lipsrseal

[psbarham]

Yeah, get it wrong and your hair turns red! :oops: /dunce :uhoh2: :lipsrseal
what more of a reason do you need to be careful?????