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View Full Version : rude joke alert..................



SGHOM
01-10-2006, 11:05 PM
look away now if easily offended. :dizzy2:

you have been warned. :smash: :smash:



Beer vs vagina;







1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.

One point to BEER



2. Warm beer tastes awful.

One point to VAGINA



3. A really cold beer is satisfying.

One point to BEER



4. If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.

One point to VAGINA



5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.

I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.



6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.

One point to VAGINA



7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer.

If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.

One point to VAGINA



8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.

One point to VAGINA



9. You normally don't find old beer.

One point to BEER



10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.

One point to VAGINA



11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun.

One point to VAGINA



12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.

One point to VAGINA



13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.

One point to BEER



14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can.

One point to BEER



15. If you shake beer, it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down.

One point to BEER



16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc... with vagina you also have a choice, white, black, asian, hispanic, and eskimo...

Call it a DRAW



17. You always know how much beer is going to cost.

One point to BEER



18. Beer doesn't have a mother.

One point to BEER



19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it.

One point to BEER



FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 9



That's it! The matter is settled, the unfortunate yet tasty winner is: BEER



PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them.

Kieran
01-10-2006, 11:33 PM
Snigger, snigger....:D

bradc
02-10-2006, 07:50 AM
HAhahahahha, best one yet Derek :) I disagree with 4 though, finding hair either way is disgusting. Wax is your friend :)

14 is good :D

Lillywotsername
02-10-2006, 07:56 AM
Laugh..... Very funny......

But you missed 1 valid point.....

A Beer won't cook you a good breakfast in the morning after a good session the night before....

I think that makes it a Draw.............:thumbsup:

Alex
02-10-2006, 08:00 AM
Good point Lilly.

Here's another:

Beer doesn't pull women, but a woman can always pull you a beer

bradc
02-10-2006, 10:24 AM
A good breakfast in the morning is a beer silly :)

And a women will only get you a beer after much arguing, come on, how easy is it to ask any of you for a beer delivered to the car or other toy the guy is working hard under?

WildCards
02-10-2006, 02:47 PM
I like both too much to comment. Now theres an invention worth creating, hmmm Beergina.

Wouter
02-10-2006, 03:53 PM
/haz