NevGroom
16-01-2007, 04:33 PM
I work in a call centre in Norwich and we've just been told our jobs are moving to India. I'm so excited! I've always wanted to visit India and with the salary they pay me I'll be able to live like a Maharaja over there. Well done Aviva, keep up the good work.
Charles Turner
What is it with diabetics? One minute they're on the floor with a loved one standing by screaming "Give him some chocolate! Give him some chocolate!"
The next day someone offers them a piece of chocolate and quick as a flash they say "No thanks, I'm diabetic." I wish they'd get their story straight.
T Potter
I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless.
Mike Potts
Why is it always people who say 'bring back hanging' who also say 'hanging's too good for them'? Make your right wing minds up.
Christina Martin
AM I the only person who hasn't banged Kate Moss? Everyday the papers are full of stories from blokes claiming to have banged her. It's something I'm quite keen on doing and I was just wondering if there is some sort of queuing system in place.
Bill McClean, e-mail
TO THE zookeeper in 1978 who replied "I'll tell you when you're older" when I asked him why one of the monkeys stuck its tongue up another one's rear: I'm 36 now and still waiting for that explanation.
Joe McKeown
I HAVE just returned from a diplomatic trip to the Congo and I can testify that at no point did I see anyone drinking Um Bongo.
Neil Palmer
PROFESSIONAL footballers have hit the headlines recently for indulging in gamesmanship - diving and playacting and so on. Well at least they are now limiting their disgraceful behaviour to the pitch these days. It wasn't so long ago that they were out beating up Pakistanis, dogging in car parks and gang roasting women in hotel rooms. Let's give credit where credit is due.
T Harpic, London
THE THING that strikes me about the appointment of a paedophile to a teaching post is, how rubbish must the other people at the interview have been?
T Thorne, London
WHY DON'T NHS bosses start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their attention to hygiene and constant hand washing would see an end to MRSA outbreaks in no time.
Stu Bray
THEY SAY that slow and steady wins the race. Bollocks! I am an athletics coach specialising in the 100 metre sprint, and I find the best tactic by far is to go as quickly as possible.
Ashley Smith
I could never understand why Brian McFadden dumped his huge breasted wife Kerry Katona. But those Iceland adverts really opened my eyes. Wise move.
Martin Mannion
Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.
Colum Hill
When I nipped into a McDonald's to use their toilets the other day, I was confronted by a spotty teenager mopping up vomit just by the lavatory. On the back of his T-shirt it said 'I'm Lovin' it!', but the poor sod's face told a different story.
Tommo, Hull
Charles Turner
What is it with diabetics? One minute they're on the floor with a loved one standing by screaming "Give him some chocolate! Give him some chocolate!"
The next day someone offers them a piece of chocolate and quick as a flash they say "No thanks, I'm diabetic." I wish they'd get their story straight.
T Potter
I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless.
Mike Potts
Why is it always people who say 'bring back hanging' who also say 'hanging's too good for them'? Make your right wing minds up.
Christina Martin
AM I the only person who hasn't banged Kate Moss? Everyday the papers are full of stories from blokes claiming to have banged her. It's something I'm quite keen on doing and I was just wondering if there is some sort of queuing system in place.
Bill McClean, e-mail
TO THE zookeeper in 1978 who replied "I'll tell you when you're older" when I asked him why one of the monkeys stuck its tongue up another one's rear: I'm 36 now and still waiting for that explanation.
Joe McKeown
I HAVE just returned from a diplomatic trip to the Congo and I can testify that at no point did I see anyone drinking Um Bongo.
Neil Palmer
PROFESSIONAL footballers have hit the headlines recently for indulging in gamesmanship - diving and playacting and so on. Well at least they are now limiting their disgraceful behaviour to the pitch these days. It wasn't so long ago that they were out beating up Pakistanis, dogging in car parks and gang roasting women in hotel rooms. Let's give credit where credit is due.
T Harpic, London
THE THING that strikes me about the appointment of a paedophile to a teaching post is, how rubbish must the other people at the interview have been?
T Thorne, London
WHY DON'T NHS bosses start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their attention to hygiene and constant hand washing would see an end to MRSA outbreaks in no time.
Stu Bray
THEY SAY that slow and steady wins the race. Bollocks! I am an athletics coach specialising in the 100 metre sprint, and I find the best tactic by far is to go as quickly as possible.
Ashley Smith
I could never understand why Brian McFadden dumped his huge breasted wife Kerry Katona. But those Iceland adverts really opened my eyes. Wise move.
Martin Mannion
Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.
Colum Hill
When I nipped into a McDonald's to use their toilets the other day, I was confronted by a spotty teenager mopping up vomit just by the lavatory. On the back of his T-shirt it said 'I'm Lovin' it!', but the poor sod's face told a different story.
Tommo, Hull