Absurd Marketing

[I-S]

I have observed various bits of ridiculous marketing, even outside of the world of hifi. Here's a couple of examples that struck me as particularly silly. Feel free to add ones you've seen.

Colgate Professional Toothbrush

I am a professional. I use various software and hardware tools in doing my job, and as such these tools could be described as professional.

A professional camera might be such as used by someone who earns their living from photography. A professional monitor is one that might be used by a graphic designer or type-setter.

But a toothbrush? Who's job is it to brush teeth? It's something we all do, a tool we all use. I think a Ford Mondeo has a stronger claim to the "Professional" tag because reps and taxi drivers use them in their jobs.

Hewlett-Packard Office Paper

The packaging boldly proclaims "Outperforms ordinary paper!".

How?!

For starters, what are the performance metrics of paper? By what test method did they determine that HP paper is better? Was the testing independant or double-blind? Does it give cleaner paper cuts? Make longer-lasting origami? Will letters printed on it be sure to get you that job you're longing for? The possibilities are endless...

[Kieran]

Can't comment on the toothbrush, but there's quite some science in paper, even for the same weight. The chemicals can determine the ink absorbency, smudging, blotting, etc etc.

[Si.]

I'm totally with you on this, some of the things company's put on their products is ridiculous these days.

It was only a few months ago that i noticed on the side of my new jar of Sunpat Peanut butter, with no artificial colours, flavours or additives, that apparently it was a even "nuttier flavour".......

HOW?!?!? IT'S MADE OF SODDING PEANUTS, HOW CAN YOU MAKE IT TASTE NUTTIER!!!

[psbarham]

petrol is one thing that amuses me with advertising , 'your car is getting low on fuel? fill up then' /pan why advertise it , the same goes for water 'thirsty ? have a drink '

[WildCards]

Were the market has different suppliers you'll always get advertising. Yes, everyone may need to fill up their car with fuel (to continue with PSB's product), but which petrol station you get it from will differ. If your like me, you'll go for where is cheapest or nearest depending on the circumstance, but alot of people stick to one brand, and alot of the time that is down to how well the marketeer has done.

it's all about creating a social perception for a product or service. The higher the value attributed to it, the more people want it, the higher price you can charge or the more units you will sell... or both.

[SGHOM]

sleeping tablets....

"warning..may cause drowsiness" :thinking: :speechles :speechles

[WildCards]

Yeah, peanut butter that may contain nuts

[Throbbe]

Colgate Professional Toothbrush


In my radio days I used a studio that boasted 'Proffessional' turntables, according to the plate on the side. Didn't inspire confidence!

[Paul Beazer]

"Hungry? Then eat food for that nourished feeling"

"Sick? Then shag your sister. Wholesome incest, keeping it in the family since 1903"

Ha! Anyone can do marketing!

[I-S]

K - I understand that about the ink. But with no given performance metrics, it's just like me saying my car "outperforms other cars". No why or how.

Si - good one on the peanut butter, that's exactly the sort of thing I'm talking about.

[thecustomer]

heh, you want absurd?

On some planets, folk would think it absurd that an F1 team could lead an environment campaign: myearthdream.com (http://www.myearthdream.com/) (not live till 9am Tuesday 27th but you'll get hte gist of it here (http://www.hondaracingf1.com/en/index.php?section=8&item=1791&type=1))

/toycar

Will

[MGV6]

I have observed various bits of ridiculous marketing, even outside of the world of hifi. Here's a couple of examples that struck me as particularly silly. Feel free to add ones you've seen.

Colgate Professional Toothbrush

I am a professional. I use various software and hardware tools in doing my job, and as such these tools could be described as professional.

A professional camera might be such as used by someone who earns their living from photography. A professional monitor is one that might be used by a graphic designer or type-setter.

But a toothbrush? Who's job is it to brush teeth? It's something we all do, a tool we all use. I think a Ford Mondeo has a stronger claim to the "Professional" tag because reps and taxi drivers use them in their jobs.

Hewlett-Packard Office Paper

The packaging boldly proclaims "Outperforms ordinary paper!".

How?!

For starters, what are the performance metrics of paper? By what test method did they determine that HP paper is better? Was the testing independant or double-blind? Does it give cleaner paper cuts? Make longer-lasting origami? Will letters printed on it be sure to get you that job you're longing for? The possibilities are endless...

Absolutely, it just goes to show the kind of world we all live in especially in the information age. It really does make you wonder.

Economists tend to be very critical of marketers/advertisers, basically speaking they hate talking about advertising. They seek to claim it's purely for informational purposes only.

[VR-04-TT]

The worst form of advertising ever devised is "extreme" marketing.

I hate it sooooooooooooooooooo much!

[Brunty]

HAIR CARE: The made up science in shampoo and hair colouring product advertisements; just because it's targeting women* doesn't mean they can invent science and make up chemistry what with all the faux science and graphic enhancements of prolactin b13 adhering to the folicle root to emphasis your natural colour!!! It's ink FFS.

MUSIC: "The amazing new album by.....", if it's so amazing why haven't I heard of the band or their first few singles beforehand? FFS.

MOVIES: Any big budget comedy movie trailer. The absurd part being that the trailer has just shown you the funniest four minutes of the movie for free! TFFT.

AUDI: "Nasa filed 323 patents we filed 9,074!" Whoopie. Since when did a f^%$ing ashtray need a new patent, or a spare wheel, or a sun visor or a ......goes on for ever and ever. FFS

CADBURYS FLAKE: Since when did lounging in a bath tub scoffing chocolate make any woman slim with a clear complexion. It doesn't work for men either; I've tried. The choclate orange adverts with Dawn French are closer to the truth. TFFT.

MOVIES 2: It took me 0.2sec to read the time from my wrist watch, so why does it take Tom Cruise 3sec to read the time from his expensive ROLEX when it's on the big screen? FFS.

ABSURD non-MARKETING
Where products that exist in everyday life have to have their labels or advertisements blurred (most US programming), or covered (Big Brother, E4) to prevent the manufacturer benefiting from free product placement. Just totally pointless and also makes you 'notice' the item more. FFS.






*and girly boys with long hair

[Brunty]

WRD/Amsoil/CVR4 membership.

Can there be a thread posted on CVR4 without some reference to how great these AWESOME products and services are?












Apparently not!

;)

[Paul Beazer]

/haz

[orionn2o]

You lot know that a peanut isn't a nut don't you? Hence the "may contain nuts" statement!

[Paul Beazer]

How on earth is a peaNUT not a nut?

[I-S]

Zere ver drei peanuts valking down ze street ven one vas assaulted. Peanut. HaHaHaHa.

[Lillywotsername]

How on earth is a peaNUT not a nut?
Technically because a peanut grows in the ground and not on a tree it is a seed. :scholar:

[orionn2o]

A peanut is a Legume.

Obviously some div named it !

wikipedia it, loads to learn!

[Paul Beazer]

Lilly thanks,
Isaac, yeah cheers for the crap joke.

[Lillywotsername]

A peanut is a Legume.

Well thats my biology teacher wrong then. Was always taught that it was a seed.

[BraindG]

Can there be a thread posted on CVR4 without some reference to how great these AWESOME products and services are?

Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?



The same thing we do every night, try to take over the world!

Narf!
Zort!
Poit!
Troz!
Gonk!
Fjord!

:afro:

[orionn2o]

I'm only a smart ass and i know that cos I did a 1st Aid course yesterday at work and we were talking about this kind of stuff when talking about anaphilaxis. Hence my 24 hour memory has served me well!

[Kieran]

Zere ver drei peanuts valking down ze street ven one vas assaulted. Peanut. HaHaHaHa.

Argh... the German V-Joke!:speechles

[Paul Beazer]

You want marketing / management speak, then check this out. Unashamedly lifted from The Register (HERE (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/02/28/strategy_boutique_speak/))

The company for which I work has just been acquired by an American company.

Following the takeover, we have had to "align around the sales community". We "reach out" to other "communities", for example the "marketing community". The response to "How are you" is "I'm doin' good". Anything to be discussed after a meeting is "taking it offline". I'm not sure what "carving out" means, although we are all "on the same page" following the "product-set deep dives". Customers will be delighted to know that "going forward, we'll be solutionising our sweet spot".

Solutionising? WTF?? Product set deep-dives? TALK ENGLISH YOU JUMPED UP LITTLE PRICK!

[Throbbe]

HAIR CARE: The made up science in shampoo and hair colouring product advertisements; just because it's targeting women* doesn't mean they can invent science and make up chemistry what with all the faux science and graphic enhancements of prolactin b13 adhering to the folicle root to emphasis your natural colour!!! It's ink FFS.


There was a very short lived shampoo ad that took the mick out of this quite well. Including close ups of radical 'bendy-holdy technology stuff' molecules, which were men in white jumpsuits holding onto peoples hair. I suspect not enough people realised it was a joke.