NevGroom
22-05-2007, 08:48 AM
A bloke goes into a pub and the barmaid asks what he wants.
"I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between " he says.
"You dirty swine" shouts the barmaid "get out before I get my husband."
The bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe.
The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.
"I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt over you lick it all off" he says.
"You dirty filthy pervert. You're banned. Get out!" she screams.
Again, the bloke apologises and swears never ever to do it again.
"One more chance" says the barmaid. "Now - what do you want?"
"I want to turn you upside down, and fill your privates with Stella Artois, and then drink every last drop from it."
The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly.
"What's up love?" he asks.
"There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my cleavage lick the sweat off", she says.
"I'll kill him. Where is he?" shouts the husband.
"Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt over me and lick it off" she screams.
"Right. He's dead," says the husband, reaching for a baseball bat.
"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill me Stella and then drink it all" she cries.
The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches the telly back on.
"Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically.
"Look love - I'm not messing with someone who can drink 15 pints of Stella."
"I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between " he says.
"You dirty swine" shouts the barmaid "get out before I get my husband."
The bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe.
The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.
"I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt over you lick it all off" he says.
"You dirty filthy pervert. You're banned. Get out!" she screams.
Again, the bloke apologises and swears never ever to do it again.
"One more chance" says the barmaid. "Now - what do you want?"
"I want to turn you upside down, and fill your privates with Stella Artois, and then drink every last drop from it."
The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly.
"What's up love?" he asks.
"There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my cleavage lick the sweat off", she says.
"I'll kill him. Where is he?" shouts the husband.
"Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt over me and lick it off" she screams.
"Right. He's dead," says the husband, reaching for a baseball bat.
"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill me Stella and then drink it all" she cries.
The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches the telly back on.
"Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically.
"Look love - I'm not messing with someone who can drink 15 pints of Stella."