jayjay99
18-10-2007, 02:29 AM
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jack asses.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the butts are permanent.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion - not proof - to destroy it.
I've learned that honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
I've learned that ex-wives and ex-husbands are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that once over the hill, you pick up speed.
I've learned I love cooking with wine. Sometimes, I even put it in the food.
I've learned that if it weren't for stress, I'd have no energy at all.
I've learned that dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
I've learned that we cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.
I've learned that if you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
I've learned that it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
I've learned that for every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
I've learned that if you look like your passport picture, you definitely need the trip.
I've learned that bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
I've learned that a conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
I've learned that a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
I've learned that opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
I've learned that junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
I've learned that there is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
I've learned that experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
I've learned that by the time you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
I've learned that someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
I've learned from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
I've learned that health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
I've learned that there are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
I've learned that indecision is the key to flexibility.
I've learned that when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. You should live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
I've learned that a mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
I've learned that there is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
I've learned to never test the depth of the water with both feet.
I've learned that happiness is merely the remission of pain.
I've learned that nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
I've learned that no one is listening until you fart.
I've learned that generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
I've learned that sometimes too much drink is not enough.
I've learned that the facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
I've learned that things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
I've learned that anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
I've learned that friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
I've learned that suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
I've learned that all things being equal, fat people use more soap.
I've learned that if you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
I've learned that one-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
I've learned that the more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
I've learned to never wrestle with a pig: you both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
I've learned that any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you," though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent..
I've learned that no books will be as good as the ones you loved as a child.
I've learned that life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, your body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "Woo hoo! What a ride!"
I've learned that the trouble with life is you're halfway through it before you realize it's a "do it yourself" thing.
I've learned that it's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, and it's true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
I've learned that it takes only a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
I've learned that the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way.
I've learned that going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
As Always ... Keep grinning. It makes people wonder what you are up to...............
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jack asses.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the butts are permanent.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion - not proof - to destroy it.
I've learned that honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
I've learned that ex-wives and ex-husbands are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that once over the hill, you pick up speed.
I've learned I love cooking with wine. Sometimes, I even put it in the food.
I've learned that if it weren't for stress, I'd have no energy at all.
I've learned that dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
I've learned that we cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.
I've learned that if you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
I've learned that it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
I've learned that for every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
I've learned that if you look like your passport picture, you definitely need the trip.
I've learned that bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
I've learned that a conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
I've learned that a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
I've learned that opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
I've learned that junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
I've learned that there is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
I've learned that experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
I've learned that by the time you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
I've learned that someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
I've learned from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
I've learned that health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
I've learned that there are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
I've learned that indecision is the key to flexibility.
I've learned that when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. You should live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
I've learned that a mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
I've learned that there is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
I've learned to never test the depth of the water with both feet.
I've learned that happiness is merely the remission of pain.
I've learned that nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
I've learned that no one is listening until you fart.
I've learned that generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
I've learned that sometimes too much drink is not enough.
I've learned that the facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
I've learned that things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
I've learned that anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
I've learned that friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
I've learned that suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
I've learned that all things being equal, fat people use more soap.
I've learned that if you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
I've learned that one-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
I've learned that the more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
I've learned to never wrestle with a pig: you both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
I've learned that any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you," though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent..
I've learned that no books will be as good as the ones you loved as a child.
I've learned that life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, your body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "Woo hoo! What a ride!"
I've learned that the trouble with life is you're halfway through it before you realize it's a "do it yourself" thing.
I've learned that it's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, and it's true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
I've learned that it takes only a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
I've learned that the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way.
I've learned that going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
As Always ... Keep grinning. It makes people wonder what you are up to...............