Brind
01-04-2004, 08:59 PM
McDonaldsTM Ban Modified Cars from Drive-Ins
Today McDonalds Corporation announced a blanket ban on “modified” cars using any of their UK restaurants, citing multiple incidents of speeding and dangerous driving. This ban extends to using their car parks both in and out of opening hours and drive-thru service. A spokesman for McDonalds Corporation made the announcement at a press conference today Thursday 1st April 2004, from their corporate HQ in London, England
Head of UK Marketing William Impy made the following statement: “Whilst McDonalds have no wish to alienate young male customers, we have to acknowledge that McDonalds have a problem with car parks being used as impromptu race-tracks and it is only a matter of time before someone is seriously injured or even killed at one of our restaurants. We have a large number of customers with small children and are conscious that having these types of cars racing around our premises is making these customers think twice about eating at McDonalds. Accordingly we have taken the radical step of banning “modified” (sic) cars from our premises.
This ban is not vehicle specific but includes any car fitted with a fibreglass aftermarket “body kit”, large racing type rear Spoilers, aftermarket alloy wheels and illuminated “LED” washer jets, stove-pipe sized exhausts and other such features. Staff will be issued with WWII style spotter charts with images of typical modified cars including rusty 1.1 Nova’s displaying “Motorsport” sun visors, Citroen Saxos with half a Halfords display glued to them, and Ford Escorts with house style air conditioning units and “Turbo” stickers on the rear. Anybody entering a restaurant with clothing made of “Burberry” fabric or wearing a “Jointed Clown” type medallion will be refused service.
A spoke-person for the Department of Social Services was also present at the conference and said “We are fully behind McDonalds new initiative as we hope to see a large drop in the number of teenage pregnancies following the ban, we know that a large number if illegitimate children are fathered in these locations”
We were unable to find a representative of any modified car owners organisation with a good enough grasp of the English language to comment.
Today McDonalds Corporation announced a blanket ban on “modified” cars using any of their UK restaurants, citing multiple incidents of speeding and dangerous driving. This ban extends to using their car parks both in and out of opening hours and drive-thru service. A spokesman for McDonalds Corporation made the announcement at a press conference today Thursday 1st April 2004, from their corporate HQ in London, England
Head of UK Marketing William Impy made the following statement: “Whilst McDonalds have no wish to alienate young male customers, we have to acknowledge that McDonalds have a problem with car parks being used as impromptu race-tracks and it is only a matter of time before someone is seriously injured or even killed at one of our restaurants. We have a large number of customers with small children and are conscious that having these types of cars racing around our premises is making these customers think twice about eating at McDonalds. Accordingly we have taken the radical step of banning “modified” (sic) cars from our premises.
This ban is not vehicle specific but includes any car fitted with a fibreglass aftermarket “body kit”, large racing type rear Spoilers, aftermarket alloy wheels and illuminated “LED” washer jets, stove-pipe sized exhausts and other such features. Staff will be issued with WWII style spotter charts with images of typical modified cars including rusty 1.1 Nova’s displaying “Motorsport” sun visors, Citroen Saxos with half a Halfords display glued to them, and Ford Escorts with house style air conditioning units and “Turbo” stickers on the rear. Anybody entering a restaurant with clothing made of “Burberry” fabric or wearing a “Jointed Clown” type medallion will be refused service.
A spoke-person for the Department of Social Services was also present at the conference and said “We are fully behind McDonalds new initiative as we hope to see a large drop in the number of teenage pregnancies following the ban, we know that a large number if illegitimate children are fathered in these locations”
We were unable to find a representative of any modified car owners organisation with a good enough grasp of the English language to comment.