sad woman?

[Big Ian]

a husband comes home after work to find his wife upstairs sitting in front of her dressing table
she's sobbing her heart out looking in her mirror
her husband looks at her and say's, "what's wrong dear"
she reply's, look at me i'm fat,i'm ugly "i need a complament-ive got nothing going for me?"
husband say's, come here (giving her a cuddle) "look on the bright side love?"
she lift's her head and look's straight at him "what's that then?" she say's
husband reply's, "at least you'v got good eye sight!!" :laugh:

[Big Ian]

did you herethe one about the guy who bought his wife a vibrator?

first time she used it she shatterd her teeth.......... :sad3:

.................................................. .................................................. .i know :lipsrseal

[RED]

did you herethe one about the guy who bought his wife a vibrator?

first time she used it she shatterd her teeth.......... :sad3:

.................................................. .................................................. .i know :lipsrseal

Yeah - Get your coat :laugh: :p

[Big Ian]

Yeah - Get your coat :laugh: :p

sorry i don't do coat's?....but i do know how to keep quiet! :lipsrseal, gracefully i may add :-b

[RED]

sorry i don't do coat's?....but i do know how to keep quiet! :lipsrseal, gracefully i may add :-b

Eh? :headsc:

[craig-1]

Eh? :headsc:



whats 3 things a woman has in common with a public toilet?


shes either engaged----vacant--------or full o s#;t :D

[SGHOM]

Brunette & a blonde are walking down the street, when they see a gorgeous guy walking towards them. phwoar !! they both muttered to each other !!
As he walked passed, the brunette noticed that he had dandruff, she turned to her friend & said " what he needs is head & shoulders"
The blond thought for a moment & said "how do you give shoulders? " :laugh: :laugh:

[craig-1]

Brunette & a blonde are walking down the street, when they see a gorgeous guy walking towards them. phwoar !! they both muttered to each other !!
As he walked passed, the brunette noticed that he had dandruff, she turned to her friend & said " what he needs is head & shoulders"
The blond thought for a moment & said "how do you give shoulders? " :laugh: :laugh:



STRANGE BUT TRUE

Here's our fabulous collection of Strange Laws that can
date back very far. Most of these laws remain in the books
today, even if rarely enforced.

*Laws shown here have been collected from sources believed to be
reliable, however, there are no guarantees. We recommend that
you conduct further research if you plan on using any of these in a publication!



In Texas, it's against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession.

In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags based on an Act of 1760.

Alaska law says that you can't look at a moose from an airplane.

In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.

In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.

It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.

In Illinois, the law is that a car must be driven with the steering wheel.

California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat.

In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman is not to drive a car unless a man warns approaching motorists or pedestrians by walking in front of the car that is being driven.

In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.

In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.

In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.

In Georgia, it is against the law to slap a man on the back or front.

A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia.

In Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.

In Oklahoma, no baseball team can hit the ball over the fence or out of a ballpark.




In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer !


In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.

In Utah, birds have the right of way on any public highway.

In Ohio, one must have a license to keep a bear.

In Tennessee, a law exists which prohibits the sale of bologna (sandwich meat) on Sunday.

In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates.

In Providence, Rhode Island, it is against the law to jump off a bridge.

In the State of Kansas, you're not allowed to drive a buffalo through a street.

In Florida, it is against the law to put livestock on a school bus.

In New Jersey, cabbage can't be sold on Sunday.


In Galveston, Texas, it is illegal to have a camel run loose in the street!


In North Carolina, it is against the law for dogs and cats to fight.

In Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum.

In Cleveland, Ohio, it is unlawful to leave chewing gum in public places.

In Virginia, chickens cannot lay eggs before 8:00 a.m., and must be done before 4:00 p.m.

In New York, it is against the law for children to pick up or collect cigarette and cigar butts.

In Massachusetts, it is against the law to put tomatos in clam chowder.

In Washington State, you can't carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.

In San Francisco, there is an ordinance, which bans the picking up and throwing of used confetti.

In Kentucky, it is illegal for a merchant to force a person into his place of business for the purpose of making a sale.

It is against the law in Connecticut for a man to write love letters to a girl whose mother or father has forbidden the relationship.

In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.


In the state of Colorado, a pet cat, if loose, must have a tail-light !


In Phoenix, Arizona, you can't walk through a hotel lobby with spurs on.

In California, a law created in 1925 makes it illegal to wiggle while dancing.

In Utah, daylight must be visible between dancing couples.

In Michigan, it is against the law for a lady to lift her skirt more than 6 inches while walking through a mud puddle.

In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street.

In Georgia, it's against the law to spread a false rumor.

In West Virginia, one can't cook sauerkraut or cabbage due to the odors and the offence is subject to imprisonment.

In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.

The law states that more than 3000 sheep cannot be herded down Hollywood Blvd. at any one time.

In Texas, it is still a "hanging offense" to steal cattle.



:rolleyes5