SGHOM
11-10-2004, 09:35 PM
Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his
> >>
> >>office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against
> >>the United States when his telephone rang.
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This
>is
> >> >Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to
> >>inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important
>news!
> >>How big is your army?"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation,
>"there
> >>is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the
>entire
> >>dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one
> >>hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac,
> >>the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry
>equipment!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked.
> >>"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I
>have
> >>6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased
> >>my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back
>to
> >>you."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac,
>the
> >>war is still on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've
> >>modified
> >> >Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the
> >>cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat.
>"I
> >>
> >> >must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter
>planes. My
> >> military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air
> >> >missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to
>two
> >>hundred
> >> >thousand!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring
> >>you back."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the
> >> >mornin', Mr.Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call
>off
> >>the war."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden
>change
> >>of heart?"
> >> > > >
> >> > > >
> >> > > >
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch
>of
> >>pints,
> >> > > > and decided there's just no fookin' way we can feed two
>hundred
> >> >thousand prisoners!!!!!
> >>
> >>office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against
> >>the United States when his telephone rang.
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This
>is
> >> >Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to
> >>inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important
>news!
> >>How big is your army?"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation,
>"there
> >>is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the
>entire
> >>dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one
> >>hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac,
> >>the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry
>equipment!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked.
> >>"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I
>have
> >>6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased
> >>my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back
>to
> >>you."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac,
>the
> >>war is still on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've
> >>modified
> >> >Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the
> >>cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat.
>"I
> >>
> >> >must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter
>planes. My
> >> military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air
> >> >missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to
>two
> >>hundred
> >> >thousand!"
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring
> >>you back."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the
> >> >mornin', Mr.Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call
>off
> >>the war."
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden
>change
> >>of heart?"
> >> > > >
> >> > > >
> >> > > >
> >> > > >
> >> > > > "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch
>of
> >>pints,
> >> > > > and decided there's just no fookin' way we can feed two
>hundred
> >> >thousand prisoners!!!!!