SGHOM
31-10-2004, 09:58 PM
True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks
>around the U.K
> >
> >
> > Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
> >
> > Customer: A white one...
> >
> > -------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
> >
> > Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
> >
> > Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..
> >
> > Customer: No . wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...
>it's still on
> >my desk... sorry .
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of
>the screen.
> >
> > Customer: Your left or my left?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
> >
> > Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
> >
> > Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on
> >
> > me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time
>I try it says
> >
> >'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed
>it in front of
> >the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Customer: I have problems printing in red...
> >
> > Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
> >
> > Customer: No.
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
> >
> > Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
>supermarket.
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
> >
> > Customer: It's not working.
> >
> > Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
> >
> > Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but
>nothing's
> >happening...
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
> >
> > Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
> >
> > Customer: OK
> >
> > Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
> >
> > Customer: Yes
> >
> > Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
>another
> >
> > keyboard?
> >
> > Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
>work!
> >
> > -------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a
>capita letter
> >V as in Victor, the number 7.
> >
> > Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > A customer couldn't get on the internet.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
> >
> > Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
> >
> > Customer: Five stars.
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
> >
> > Customer: Netscape.
> >
> > Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
> >
> > Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
> >
> > screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse,
>it disappears!
> >
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
> >
> > Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.
>Can you
> >please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
> >
> > Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
> >
> > Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button
>more than 4
> >hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
>
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: How may I help you?
> >
> > Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
> >
> > Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
> >
> > Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the
>circle aroundit?
>around the U.K
> >
> >
> > Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
> >
> > Customer: A white one...
> >
> > -------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
> >
> > Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
> >
> > Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..
> >
> > Customer: No . wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...
>it's still on
> >my desk... sorry .
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of
>the screen.
> >
> > Customer: Your left or my left?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
> >
> > Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
> >
> > Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on
> >
> > me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time
>I try it says
> >
> >'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed
>it in front of
> >the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Customer: I have problems printing in red...
> >
> > Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
> >
> > Customer: No.
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
> >
> > Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
>supermarket.
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
> >
> > Customer: It's not working.
> >
> > Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
> >
> > Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but
>nothing's
> >happening...
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
> >
> > Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
> >
> > Customer: OK
> >
> > Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
> >
> > Customer: Yes
> >
> > Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
>another
> >
> > keyboard?
> >
> > Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
>work!
> >
> > -------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a
>capita letter
> >V as in Victor, the number 7.
> >
> > Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > A customer couldn't get on the internet.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
> >
> > Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
> >
> > Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
> >
> > Customer: Five stars.
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
> >
> > Customer: Netscape.
> >
> > Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
> >
> > Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
> >
> > screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse,
>it disappears!
> >
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
> >
> > Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.
>Can you
> >please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
> >
> > Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
> >
> > Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button
>more than 4
> >hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
>
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Helpdesk: How may I help you?
> >
> > Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
> >
> > Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
> >
> > Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the
>circle aroundit?