Trow
29-01-2005, 11:51 AM
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the
smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making
her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly
natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and
a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs
where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers,
she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the
bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her
husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood
curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the
bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got
him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She
bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you
were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to
you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that
one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most
of them back in."
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the
smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making
her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly
natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and
a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs
where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers,
she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the
bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her
husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood
curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the
bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got
him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She
bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you
were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to
you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that
one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most
of them back in."