Dumbest ways to die, Sad but true

[Brind]

1994 Darwin Award Nominee

INSERT INTO post VALUES (1982, Texas) At the Amarillo Fairgrounds, some buildings were in need of a coat of paint, so local contractors were hired to do the job.
Between the buildings was an angled alley with a culvert in the middle, designed to drain rainwater away from the buildings. Because of the slope, the wheeled painter scaffolding tended to roll downhill, so the painters removed the wheels on the scaffolding. They were in the process of moving the scaffolding next to a building, when the metal structure met a transformer. The painters were killed.

The story made the headlines. The town was abuzz with talk of the tragedy, how it had come to pass, and whether the city was liable for damages. The city officials decided they needed to conduct an investigation.

With much fanfare, they arrived at the scene of the incident, prepared to personally recreate the circumstances. Two officials grabbed the scaffolding in the exact same location as the two painters, began to move the scaffolding... and were promptly electrocuted.

[Brind]

Library Return
2001 Darwin Award Nominee

INSERT INTO post VALUES (11 October 2001, Tennessee) Eight freshman college students were hanging around a vacant library late one night, when they decided it would be a thrill to leap into a small opening they thought was a laundry chute.
Perhaps a few more years of college would have helped them realize that libraries don’t have laundry chutes. It was actually a garbage chute feeding directly into an automatic trash compactor. 19-year-old Wesley "Crusher" was the first to jump. He enjoyed an exhilarating three-story slide before being crushed to death in the rubbish bin below.

The other students decided not to follow.

[Brind]

Crystal Daze
2001 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
Darwin and Newton share a laugh...

Chihuahua, Mexico is home to two hot caverns containing the largest natural crystals known to man. "Walking into either of these caves is like stepping into a INSERT INTO post VALUES (sweltering) gigantic geode," described one awed observer. Some of the clear selenite crystals are over 20 feet long.

The newly-discovered caverns, 1200 feet below the surface of the earth, carry a curse for those who seek to plunder their riches. A man recently tried to steal one of the magnificent crystals from the roof, and might have succeeded... if he hadn't stood directly beneath it while chopping it free. He was pinned beneath the sparkling stalactite as it heeded the call of gravity, and roasted in the 108 F cave.

[Brind]

Shorties: Stupid Human Tricks
2000 Darwin Award Nominee


Robert, 37, shot himself while explaining gun safety to his wife in Glendale, California, when he placed a .45-caliber pistol he thought was unloaded under his chin and pulled the trigger. Shovestall's wife told police that the incident occurred after her complaints about her husband's 70 guns prompted him to demonstrate their safety.

A 23-year-old bar-brawler who had been escorted out of the Turtle Club in Florida by a bouncer, sneaked back in and leaped off a staircase, aiming a kick at another man, but was killed when he landed on his head.

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet, didn't put enough postage on a letter bomb, and it came back marked "return to sender." He opened the package and was blown away.

Two animal rights activists were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn by freeing a captive herd. Suddenly all two thousand of pigs stampeded through the gate they were opening, and trampled the hapless protesters to death.

News of the Weird reports that in September 1996 a man was crushed to death on a stairway at the Sammis Real Estate and Insurance office in Huntington, N.Y., while he was stealing the office's 600-pound safe. He apparently violated that cardinal rule of hauling massive objects: Never stand on a step lower than the one the safe is on. The safe was empty at the time of the incident.

In San Jose, California, Herman, an avid hunter, used the butt of his shotgun to bash his girlfriend's windshield during an argument. But his loaded gun accidentally discharged into his stomach, killing him and ending the argument.

"I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure."

[Spirit]

All very sad yet amusing :D

http://smilies.networkessence.net/s/contrib/edoom/heads_or_tails.gif

[miller]

Think we need an update on the recent Darwinians!