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Thread: What Are The Chances!!

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    RED's Avatar

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    Thumbs down What Are The Chances!!

    Usually abit busy to post so this is a first for a while but had to share this just because I can't believe it!

    What are the chances of having a pigeon falling down your chimney? Fairly good if your name is Caldwell.

    Sitting on the settee last night everyone eating tea. Rumbling from chimney area - bloody noisy neighbours again Another rumbling abit louder now and a bit of soot coming down the chimney. Me and him look at each other - fook!!! Louder rumbling- more soot- kids evacuated. First thing to lay my hands on is a bath towel and a roll of masking tape to block the hole up.

    We all then sit alfresco to finish our tea and ponder on the worse case scenario. Marcus pops back in to see if there's anymore fell down. There is - but this time it has wings and you can see pecking at the bath towel. So in the end with help from the neighbours because I don't do flappy wing things the pigeon is rescued and released unharmed but black and Marcus is standing there dripping with soot. I see the state of my lounge and have a small weep.

    I then have a pop at Marcus because he forget to get the Insurance details from the pigeon

    After reading the policy cover last night I was convinced that we wouldn't be covered but we were and esure have been great. I have a sweep vacing the rest of my chimney at noon and an army of specialist cleaners popping in to clean. We are all watching cbeebies in my bedroom now.

    Still can't quite believe it. It will sink in soon. I think!

    Shocked of Rugby

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    Feck!

    Glad the insurance company is able to sort it out. It may not be in the best taste, but have you got any pictures of Black Marcus?

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    Thats not good, i woulda crapped myself hearing something come down the chimney, not sure i would have been so brave - i recon, windows open, patio open and stand at the bottom of the garden schew-ing (sp) it.

    I do hear them though, at the top of the chimney making their pigeony noises, taunting me from up above.

    Hope the costs arnt to bad for getting it cleaned up
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    RED's Avatar

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    Nick I have no pictures of Marcus as I made him strip at the back door to his smegs and leave his washing in the kitchen.

    Barry I did sh*t myself a bit because I thought the Chimney was collapsing didn't think for a mo it was our feathered friends.

    Insurance have been grate (notice subtle pun) and I have a specialist cleaning team coming in this dinner to see what they can clean or not. Marcus has just phoned to see if I can throw a handful of soot down the back of the TV

    Em is worried that Santa won't come down the chimney this xmas and wept for a while and that she can't have any of her toys because they are all knee deep in soot!

    Deep breath!

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    Quote Originally Posted by RED
    Em is worried that Santa won't come down the chimney this xmas and wept for a while and that she can't have any of her toys because they are all knee deep in soot!
    awwww.. bless! - arnt kids great

    lets see what the insurance ppl can do, im sure it will be fine.

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    This I think, is not so unusual....

    I had a small bird fall down my chimney, the only problem was that the fireplace had long since been bricked up!!

    I had to set about it with a hammer and chisel to free the poor bird. I couldn't bear the thought of it being stuck in there.

    Still it all ended well with the bird going free and me having a 3ft hole in the wall.
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    Quote Originally Posted by TAR
    This I think, is not so unusual....

    I had a small bird fall down my chimney, the only problem was that the fireplace had long since been bricked up!!

    I had to set about it with a hammer and chisel to free the poor bird. I couldn't bear the thought of it being stuck in there.

    Still it all ended well with the bird going free and me having a 3ft hole in the wall.
    Any consolation - I would have done the same! Moral of the story cap your pots!

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    Not so unusual really. I found a jackdaw in the room one morning which had come down the chimney. Fortnuately, the chimney is only a flue for a gas fire, so no soot! Local RSPB man says jackdaws are naturally curious birds and fall down chimneys regularly.

    Pigeons, on the other hand, are just stoopid!
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    Must be something in the air around here - my wife had a squirrel fall out of a tree and thump down next to her while she was gardening the other day. She screamed and ran one way, the cat was interrupted in the middle of licking its balls and ran the other way, and the poor squirrel just lay there stunned before doing those road-runner type scrabbling for grip high speed getaways!

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    Bugger that we have a cage over the top off the chimney to stop birds coming down and to stop seagulls nesting there
    Nick

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    Good grief Jane....thats not good at all.

    Still nice to know that you released the bird, uninjured, if a little black. Had it been PSB, or any other gun loving bird killer, then I am sure he would have shot it for the inconvenience it caused.

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    Of a rather less pleasant outcome, whilst my mother was away on holiday a while back a large crow somehow managed to come down the chimney into her bedroom.

    She came back from holiday to find the room covered in soot, crow poo, feathers and the remains of a starved crow on the window ledge.

    Poor thing must not have had a nice end and the room basically had to be stripped and redecorated.

    Definately make sure you cover up the pots, especially in old houses with larger chimneys....
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    Was the pigeon wearing a little red suit? Just wondered if it might have been suffering from a santa claus complex...

    Hope it all gets sorted without too much difficulty

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    Hmmm - when we get the dining room chimney opened up again, we'll certainly get some protection put over the top! I don't want no Tweety Pie in my flue!!

    Hope you're sorted soon Jane - And although perhaps not the nicest of circumstances in which to do so, Good to hear from you - Hope you're well and will we see you and your good man at a show this year?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kieran
    Hope you're sorted soon Jane - And although perhaps not the nicest of circumstances in which to do so, Good to hear from you - Hope you're well and will we see you and your good man at a show this year?
    I don't get time to log on much but sometimes have the time for a quick lookey now and again just to keep my beady eye on what you chaps are up to. I don't have an awful lot of interesting things to say these days unless it begins with baby and ends in nappy

    We won't be at Japfest in May as I'm not quite well enough yet but maybe toward the latter end of the year - but hey you can't keep a girl racer down for too long - I will be back (when the kids have left home probably!)

    Thanks all for the well wishes. Funny storys - doesn't make me feel to bad now. Chimney has been swept - what was left after the pigeon had done his worst - £25 bobby bargain! Clean up squad is coming in tomorrow to fumigate and dust and vac and wash etc etc so fingers crossed.

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    DAM!! Jane you and Marcus should move to Scotland, wee have a thing called central heating up here. which mean's you can board up your chimmney and never have to worry about UFO's landing in your front room



    lol .. hope all get's sorted for ya'll
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    Quote Originally Posted by scottish ian
    DAM!! Jane you and Marcus should move to Scotland, wee have a thing called central heating up here. which mean's you can board up your chimmney and never have to worry about UFO's landing in your front room



    lol .. hope all get's sorted for ya'll
    Blimey who are you again? It's been that long that I've had another kid in that time!

    Ah but as witty as ever you cheeky sod - I have central heating but do like a roaring fire - so much more romantic as well. It's not the same snuggling up on the sheepskin rug infront of the radiator

    Quick update -

    Insurance paying to decorate
    Em and Tom's toys are stuffed so there will be new
    Carpet OK just wet - still (it will be dry Saturday morning Mrs Caldwell)
    Settee wet and still smells of soot so new covers
    Fingers crossed the carbon in the back of the TV makes it go puff

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    hehe .. i thought i'd have a break from the WWW and let you try catch up with my posting total! ... i see it never worked?

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    Quote Originally Posted by scottish ian
    hehe .. i thought i'd have a break from the WWW and let you try catch up with my posting total! ... i see it never worked?
    I am a woman - I have far more important things to do like cooking, cleaning, working and sticking the brush up my you know where than living on here plus the fact I don't have anything interesting to say anymore.

    Don't have time to clean the car (sorry Kieran) and can only do 30mph now because I always have small people with me one of which always tells me to slow down and watch out for the people on the path - she is so like her father

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    i dunno "women" alway's gripe'n on about "how they get the raw end"
    well i can make you feel sorry for me, ive been driving BMW's for the past 18mths! an absolute amazing bit of engineering but not a "on road race car"

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