Bad news

[Colin Wiltshire]

Well, I had some upsetting news today, My wife just told me, she has met someone else and is moving out, a divorce then obviously.
I'm not angry or bitter (so no name calling etc in any of the replies)
We wern't exactly very close anymore, so guess a natural drifting apart, resulting in this. I can't say I haven't thought about it before.
This means I'm going to loose my nice house, I can't afford to be here by myself.
I'm at a loss on what to do now, I know I'll have to organise my stuff, find somewhere to live.
So any tips, ideas, help pon how and what to do would be great.
Thanks

[Nick Mann]

Sorry bud.
It sounds like you are coping with the emotional side quite well, I hope that is the case.
I have never been through it so don't have any advice really, all I would say is that the people who forgive and don't lose their cool seem to cope better afterwards.

[Amonlym]

I'm sorry to hear that Colin, I hope as Nick says that you are coping emotionally.

Legal advice is always wise to seek in this sort of situation - who gets what, who is responsible for what, who is entitled to what.

For living onward - see if you can line up somewhere to move too on short notice for a short time. Get cheap storage to facilitate this. While the mortgage will be painful - moving before it is sold means that *and* rent, no point leaving the roof you have till you have to. Once sold, and everything is sorted out - then you can look where you want to go - knowing what your choices are! Alternatively, downsize and move directly to a new owned house.

Stay in touch with friends! try and make it an opportunity - move nearer to work, or family, or somewhere nicer? Rejoin old friends? Exploit the freedom to go and do what you will. Want to strip down a gearbox in the bath tub? do it xD

[TAR]

I'm very sorry to hear this news Colin.

Definitely get some legal advice. Stay strong and try to remain positive.

[c0xxy]

As above really.
But take the time to make sure your happy in yourself before rushing into another relationship, that can quite likely end up in more suffering further down the line

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[Davezj]

i am sorry to hear this colin.

i dont know what to say, and you all know i usually has something to say about everything. Buy not this time, sorry colin.

[Colin Wiltshire]

Well the funny thing was, I fancied some female company tonight, but I don't know any singletons that I like lol.

[c0xxy]

I'm exactly the same mate want what ya can't have! Tinders good for a laugh


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[Colin Wiltshire]

want what ya can't have! Tinders good for a laugh


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Too true mate, I might take a look on there now I don't need to worry about getting caught.

[Louis]

If the house is bought and the mortgage is in both names, then you are both responsible for the mortgage payments until it is sold, so, your ex would still need to make her half of the payment until the house is sold.
As mentioned above, it would make more sense to stay in the property until it sells, (rather than you pay your half of the mortgage and your rent in a new place).

[carfanatic]

Well, I guess I'm a kind of expert at this as I am on my third and hopefully last wife. I kept my house after both previous divorces and would always recommend that you do the same if poss. I recall paying the valuer an extra £200 to give me the valuation I needed in order to be able to get the mortgage I needed to pay the first one off which was an additional 37k. The second ex was 53k. Lots of money under the bridge but I am happy where I am and only look back on occasions like this. One of the things I will say at the outset is that it is very very rare for a divorce to not get bitter. Don't tell ANYONE anything you don't want getting back to her. Despite how well you think you know her, there is now a new voice in her ear so be careful. Stay in the house as someone has said previously. However if she moves out she most likely will not want to pay her half, but if you move out she may expect you to still pay. My first wife used to beat me up every night after coming in from visiting her boyfriend. Turned out that her solicitor told her to get me to hit her which I never did, so she could get me out of the house before I bought it ( I'm sure she is not the only ex from hell). Stay focused on your work, don't let your personal life creep in. Get a good solicitor. Oh and my second wife divorced me for adultery, after she had moved out and I found someone after 4 or 5 months. Don't make any agreements unless they are through a solicitor. Sorry for the lengthy reply. I hope it all goes well and whatever happens, keep the mitsi. You need your marriage licence to start divorce proceedings. My second took it with her so I couldn't instigate them.

[lancerevo3]

Well the funny thing was, I fancied some female company tonight, but I don't know any singletons that I like lol.

Who said you need to like them lol