Hermes

[John TheAntique]

"broken faucet so ".

Faucet= US or Canadian name for a tap

[Turbo_Steve]

LOL @ JohnTheTranslator

[Kieran]

As mentioned, Hermes was about an hour away in Lincolnshire and couldn't move under his own power. But that weekend, Isaac was heading down anyway. So, having wooed him with promises of food, drink and seeing Harry Potter at the local cinema, Isaac was duly press-ganged into helping. The plan was fairly straightforward. I'd drive the KnAccord (which would be the tractor unit), and because Hermes still had Tax, MOT and Isaac had comprehensive insurance, he'd steer and stop Hermes, who would obviously be the trailer car.

So off we went, a few tools and a new 2 Tonne Spring-Damped towing bar in the boot, and Isaac in the passenger seat. We got there, hooked Hermes up to the KnAccord, signed the V5 and away we went.

Now... Neither Isaac or myself had experience of towing. I'd been towed once before about 8 years ago, but I'd never been in the 'Tractor' car. But never mind. After all, two people with no relevant towing experience, a KnAccord as the tractor unit, and a ~1400kg payload that couldn't move under its own power. What could possibly go wrong?!

I feel obliged at this point to insert this smiley:

We set off, and in fairness, I was surprised how well the KnAccord coped. The clutch held well and the performance didn't suggest that the engine was now hauling twice the usual weight of car around. The spring damper on the towbar gave the occasional click and clunk as it smoothed out my less smooth braking and acceleration moments (of which there were several as we negotiated the outskirts of Lincoln), but otherwise all was well and the A46 was nice and clear. Seeing a nice stretch of clear, straight A46, I decided to see how fast the Honda would get to 50mph, in a demonstration of power and lack of mechanical sympathy that Isaac later termed, "Santa Pull". It went well.

Apart from this little episode, the journey was largely uneventful, until we reached the A1/A46 island just outside of Newark. Here's a picture for you, and as you can see, I have added a few markers. This is to help illustrate a sequence of events, which I shall explain below. They may come in handy if you ever find yourself in the situation where you have to tow a disabled Galant across the A46/A1 junction:



Allow me now to share my handy hints, that will ensure, should you find yourself in the same situation, that you have a pleasant, comfortable experience of negotiating this island, with none of the "Oh Shi-" moments we experienced:

B - this is where you approach the island if you are returning from Lincoln and wish to take the third exit towards the A617 and Kelham. It is advisable to concentrate if you're at Point B, especially if you're towing a car as heavy as your own. Maintaining concentration shall ensure that you don't start to creep forwards, despite there still being another vehicle in front. This in fact saves you from two of the aforementioned "Oh Shi-" moments; the first being when you jab the brakes to prevent impact, and the second when the momentum of the towed car (if you're using a tow bar) inadvertently shunts the tractor car another inch forward.

A - If you're heading from Kelham towards Lincoln along the A46, you'll be in this lane. As you can see, it's filtered off. This is so people at point B have less cars to worry about when they're trying to enter the island. If you're a dimwit in a blue Peugeot 306 estate, it is advisable to ensure that your destination is actually Lincoln before you select this lane. This will ensure that you don't have to make an emergency lane change manoeuvre at the last moment and cut across the chevroned area towards point B.

If you're at Point B, it is worth keeping an eye out for dimwits in blue Peugeot 306 estates, as they may at the last second cut across the chevroned area. This can cause considerable alarm and distress to you and other occupants of your vehicle, or the occupant(s) of the vehicle you are towing. There is nothing like seeing a Peugeot 306 suddenly change direction to give you and anyone with you an "Oh Shi-" moment. Particularly if one is towing a disabled car, and especially if one is towing a disabled car and is halfway onto said island. Doing an emergency stop from 10mph isn't usually too bad, but when your car has another 1.4tonne car hooked up behind it, the sudden, violent differential in momentum tests the compressive strength of the tow bar, the tensile strength of your underpants and the explosive strength of your 'dimwit in a Peugeuot 306 estate' abuse glands. The only comfort comes from seeing the fear in the Peugeot driver's face as he realises that not only has he carved up traffic behind him, but he now has a KnAccord blocking his path and has to swerve around you. Please note that you may feel some want for him to crash into you, just so you can jump out the car and use him as the tow bar/rope instead. Try not to dwell on these feelings as they soon pass.

C - If you're unfortunate enough to encounter a dimwit in a blue Peugeot 306 estate, by the time you get to point C your towbar may start making rather ominous noises like those you hear in submarine movies when the bulkheads of the sub start to reach their limit. Continue your journey and pay no attention to these noises...

I hope those hints are of use to you. Back to the journey.

Five minutes after the that little episode, we negotiated the A46/A617 island, and were back on track towards Kelham. Soon Kelham bridge loomed on the horizon. As you have seen in my previous post, there is a sharp, almost 90 degree turn onto Kelham bridge, and this is also up a gradient too. Articulated lorries have particular trouble with this bend. So do articulated cars.

Back to the overhead shot, now with a couple of annotations....



Point A is where the towbar made the most alarming grinding/clanking/graunching/metal-death-kill noises.

Point B Marks the approximate location upon Kelham bridge where was a very loud BANG and a very concerned looking Isaac, and Hermes, started getting more distant...

[White Lightning]

[Turbo_Steve]

Lmfao K!

[WildCards]

I'm lolling

[Kieran]

I did the only thing I could.

I sped off in the KnAccord and left Isaac to it. No, Really.















Well, To the other side of the bridge, anyway.

Just the other side of the bridge there's a grassy kerb - The KnAccord was duly dumped there and I sprinted back to the bridge. I still cannot explain how I managed to push Hermes over the apex of the bridge, particularly with a snapped section of tow bar dangling from the front towing eye and dragging along the road. Adrenalin does funny things to you.

Still I did it, and we were fortunate(!!) enough that a passing police car put his lights on to stop traffic from cutting around us as I pushed. And even more fortunate that once we'd cleared the bridge, he carried on, rather than stopping for a chat...

Here's what had happened to the tow bar (these pictures are a reconstruction, the last thing on our minds during the event was a camera!) :



Fortunately, having bought tools, we were able to remove the damper at the side of the road and shorten the towbar thus:



The shortened tow bar was JUST long enough to attach to both cars and leave about 3 inches clearance between the bumpers. Forty minutes after the snap, we were en-route again, this time with a much revised towing strategy. Isaac did the braking, keeping an even tension on the bar, and I accelerated at a glacial pace. Aside from a momentary lapse of concentration by Isaac on a corner, which caused the KnAccord to oversteer for the first time ever I think, the rest of the journey was mercifully dull. And approximately an hour later......





Hermes was home.

I thanked Isaac for a job well done, and suggested that I might contact him again, should I need to tow another stranded Galant back home....


















I don't think he took too kindly to this suggestion...

[ANTHONY]

so is the plan to get this up and running ready for japfest

[WildCards]

The last photo looks a bit like the albino chap from The Da Vinci Code

[Ryan]

A very entertaining read Kieran

[bradc]

Sounds like fun I'm amazed that the cop didn't stop and ask some questions!

[Adie]

Awesome read, very amusing Kieran.

[confusis]

Sounds like fun I'm amazed that the cop didn't stop and ask some questions!

I'm guessing he saw two relatively respectable vehicles, an obviously broken tow mechanism and the location would have led him to believe that it was an unfortunate incident, not resulting from doing anything dangerous/illegal

[Johnny_Cashed]

I'm guessing he saw two relatively respectable vehicles, an obviously broken tow mechanism and the location would have led him to believe that it was an unfortunate incident, not resulting from doing anything dangerous/illegal

Or he saw two auburn car thieves and was concerned that they were going to steal his soul? Glad to see you back K

[ritch_w]

nice write K!

the "in betweener" model (between pre facelift and facelift models) I had, the 2001 Y reg met red one was great car, high miles too, but never showed mechanically. Awesome spec (more toys that top spec sport/eleagance facelifts) and understated looks.

enjoy!!!

[richy rich]

You mean to say you didn't get the idiots guide to towing the first thing you need to know about towing is that the trailing car does the braking.

[psbarham]

I'm guessing he saw two relatively respectable vehicles, an obviously broken tow mechanism and the location would have led him to believe that it was an unfortunate incident, not resulting from doing anything dangerous/illegal

Nah its the Linc's/Notts boarder, he probably thought they were pikeys and didn't want any trouble

[fluffnik]

Sounds like fun I'm amazed that the cop didn't stop and ask some questions!

He might have been worried that the answer would be "We'd love a hand"...

Great story K!

[Kieran]

Now, with most £250 cars, most people would just sort whatever was needed to keep the car going. So in the case of Hermes, that would be to sling a new 'box in the car, maybe change the lower arm (if it was that causing the knocking) and then run the car to MOT time (due mid November) and see what needed fixing then. Oh, and maybe give the car a wash.

Can you imagine me doing that, given how OCD I get about Galants, and especially after my bitter experience of doing just the bare minimum with the KnAccord?! No. Neither could I.

With the KnAccord still operational, I had time to do things properly. A full tear-down and refit was on the cards, albeit with a careful eye on budget. Having driven several Galants in good order and several which have ranged from 'average' to 'tired', I would sooner drive a taut, positive Galant that's standard as opposed to one that's been modified to look the part, go the part or sound the part, and yet feel decidedly worn.

So, If I could repair or refit, I would. If I could use OE-equivalent parts, I would. However I would not blindly replace original specification with original specification. The weaknesses of the 8G are well known, and my experiences with Hordak (my previous V6 Sport) and Ariadne would be borne in mind when selecting replacement parts. I wanted to bring together all I'd learned in some six years of running Galants, distil all of that experience into this car and see what the end result would be.

Not that I expected the result to be 'Perfect'; One day I will get a Galant that fully satisfies every criteria I have. Hermes is not that car, though I do feel that he's closer when viewed as a whole package, than any of my previous ones.

So I began preparations for the tear-down:



The inspection items are fairly straightforward - Storage boxes, Degreaser, torch, bags, marker pens, paper towels, an inspection mirror and a paint thickness gauge. Oh - And the camera I was using (That's why it's not pictured...)

And so, one sunny day last August, I began...

[Roberto]

[QUOTE=Kieran] And the camera I was using (That's why it's not pictured...)
[QUOTE]

You could have used the inpection mirror!!!