The new jokes thread :)

[SGHOM]

....... I'll keep 'em clean this time



Husband to wife: "how's the new diet going?"

wife: not good.... had eggs for breakfast.

Husband: scrambled?

wife; no..... Cadbury's

[kiteman]

An Irishman was drinking in a bar in
London when he gets a call on his
mobile phone.
He orders drinks for everybody in the
bar as he announces his wife has
just produced a typical Irish baby
boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby
can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs,
"That's about average up our
way, folks...like I said - my boy's a
typical Leitrim baby boy."
Two weeks later the man returns to
the bar. The bartender says, "Say,
you're the father of that typical
Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at
birth, aren't you?
Everybody's been makin' bets
about how big he'd be in two weeks ... so
how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers,
"Seventeen pounds".
The bartender is puzzled and
concerned. "What happened? He was 25
pounds the day he was born."
The father takes a slow swig of his
Jameson Irish Whisky, wipes his
lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into
the bartender and proudly says...
"Had him circumcised."